• Valuing words (compliments)
• Physical contact (affection)
• Services rendered (what you do for each other)
• Gifts are given (anniversaries, birthdays, and in between)
• Quality time (making time for each other)

None of these love languages is better than another because each corresponds to how we have learned to express it.

Indeed, when we are children, we learn to love through early influential people who expressed their love for us (usually our parents and grandparents). As adults, we tend to communicate our love in this same language.

Below find a conversation between five people who speak different love languages:

– How can I feel loved by my partner when he never tells me he loves me? And I’m not talking about the compliments I never hear!

– Okay, but don’t you see how much he does for you?! The Sunday morning’s croissant, the shopping, the work around the house. He even makes you dinner before you get home from work! My wife may tell me she loves me every day, but she doesn’t do that much for me!

– For us, after ten years of marriage, he doesn’t even think to give me flowers for our anniversary. He never surprises me with a little gift; Sometimes, it’s hard to believe he loves me.

– For me, it’s the same thing. Giving me gifts is not my husband’s thing. But that’s not what makes me question his love for me. It’s the fact that he never kisses me. Holding my hand in the street, tender gestures, he doesn’t know.

– Well, girls, he may not be tender with you, he may not give you gifts, but at least you spend a lot of time together. My wife and I run into each other daily, and when we finally get home, she always finds something to do. What is love but spending a good time together?

Do you recognize yourself in any of these scenarios? Do you understand how frustrations and feelings of not being loved or even heard in love expressions sometimes arise.

To learn more about this topic, I recommend you read Gary Chapman’s book: The Five Love Languages, The Secret to Love that Lasts.

I also suggest you discover your love language by answering the questions on the quiz that I have attached here. You may realize that you have mastered several love languages, and that’s great because the broader your way of giving and receiving love, the more likely you are to be fulfilled and happy in your relationship!

Also, don’t hesitate to invite your partner to discover their love language. Thus, together, you can communicate your love better and make your relationship evolve toward more intimacy.

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