Make compromises, not sacrifices!
Written by Sophie Parienti
Compromises are fine, but at what price?!
Let’s be clear about the meaning of the word: a compromise is a decision between two people on a concession to reach an agreement in solidarity.
So far, so good since it is a joint agreement. However, a compromise can generate deep dissatisfaction and become an argument for disagreement.
So, can we then say that a compromise is healthy for a couple?
Yes, of course, but only under certain conditions:
It must not be perceived as a sacrifice.
It must not be opposed to one’s values.
It must not go against the basic needs of each partner.
If one of these conditions is not respected, the partners risk dragging their couple on a slippery slope. Frustration and blame will quickly arise and could lead to conflict in the relationship.
To assess the legitimacy and the validity of your compromise, ask yourself the following questions:
Does this compromise go against some of my values?
Is this compromise consistent with my basic needs?
Is it a compromise or sacrifice that makes me give up myself, my desires, etc.?
Will this compromise have a positive impact in the long run?
Is the true motivation for this compromise legitimate?
Above all, keep in mind that a compromise is healthy if it creates harmony in the couple and promotes the blossoming of each partner. If you realize that it generates dissatisfaction, reassess its legitimacy before saying yes to something you would later blame your partner for.
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