“It’s not hard to please me, is it?!”
Written by Sophie Parienti
A controversial statement, loaded with frustration and innuendo, can leave the person you speak to stunned and even distraught.
Think of all the times you’ve thought or said such words and imagined your partner “could have” or “should have” done this or that and that it should not have been difficult for them to guess what you expected or hoped.
However, are you sure they could have known what you needed? Have you told them precisely your desires and expectations?
Let’s say you did. But can you say that you communicated your most profound thoughts with them?
Consider this. Primarily from our beliefs and fears, we have created a filtering system that decides which thoughts we should communicate or keep secret. Consequently, we are unlikely to speak authentically about what we are experiencing internally.
As a result, much of our internal monologue, which we more or less consciously consider inappropriate or risky to disclose, remains unknown to the other person.
Thus, when an unmet need causes frustration, and we forbid ourselves to talk about it, bits of information clumsily escape this filtering system. This is how “It’s not hard to please me, is it?” creeps into a conversation without warning.
Later, we think we’ve made ourselves clear. However, the small pieces of information dropped in this context generally lacked precision and were not necessarily self-evident for the other. Moreover, since they have slipped awkwardly into the conversation (usually in the form of reproaches), they are more likely to have awakened some negative emotions in the other person than to have made them aware of our needs.
Of course, I understand that it may be easy to please you, but only if you have expressed yourself on the subject. If this is difficult for you, here is what I recommend.
Have the courage to say what you want.
In other words, speak your truth. Put your thoughts into words, so they are heard and known by the outside world. This first bold step will lead you to the realization of your desires.
Speak from the heart.
Words are charged with the energy we give them, and these energies create experiences that vibrate on their frequency. The fulfillment of your desires will therefore equal the vibration you emit when you express them.
Communicate consciously.
When you speak out, express how you feel (the emotions experienced) and not what the other person is doing or not doing that makes you feel not pleased. This way, you will avoid tension, focus the discussion on the subject at hand, minimize the risk of misinterpretation, and increase the chances of being heard.
Now, if you are about to say or think, “It’s not complicated to please me, is it?! ” I invite you to rephrase the question: “I’d like to tell you how to please me. Are you ready to hear it?”I will let you imagine the possibility of a deeper connection with your partner that this approach could offer.
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