Many factors can contribute to our inability to keep our resolutions. Here are some reasons I’ve identified with my clients over the years.

• Lack of motivation: Pursuing a long-term goal requires excellent motivation. If there is a setback, challenge, or bump in the road, it tends to weaken.
• Lack of accountability: We make a resolution by challenging ourselves to accomplish it. But by relying only on ourselves for discipline, we often become disengaged.
• Unrealistic expectations: In the excitement of the decision, we set unrealistic or too ambitious goals that become overwhelming and lead to frustration or disappointment.
• Insufficient planning: Without a clear plan, we get distracted by other priorities and lose sight of our goals.
• Poor time management: We often fail to prioritize our goals or don’t spend enough time on them.
• Lack of support: Without the permission, approval, or support of those around us, we give up.
• Negative self-talk: Our lack of confidence in our ability to achieve our goals, our negative self-talk, causes us to lose our motivation.
• Life circumstances: Unexpected life events, such as a job change, a move, an illness, etc., can cause us to lose sight of our goals.
• Our ego’s strategy: Our ego sometimes encourages us to make choices incompatible with achieving our resolutions to maintain our identity.

But all these reasons should not make you give up. For by identifying the specific challenges preventing you from keeping your resolutions, you can work on strategies to overcome them and increase your chances of success.

So, are you ready to fulfill your resolutions? Let me infuse you with a few ideas for keeping your resolutions and joining the exclusive group of people who set goals and achieve them.

How to stick to your resolutions.

1. Make a plan.

Expand your vision by transforming your resolution into actionable steps. Start by mapping out your goal into smaller, achievable objectives. It could involve weekly or monthly targets. Remember, the journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. Use a planner or an app to break down your goals. Set specific deadlines and checkpoints. This visual representation of your plan is a constant reminder and a roadmap to success.

2. Track your progress.

Keeping a record isn’t just about ticking off boxes. It’s a way of visualizing how far you’ve come and motivating yourself. To do so, create a progress tracking tool. It can be as simple as a diary entry or as elaborate as a digital dashboard. Update it regularly and review your progress each week. Celebrate the small victories as much as the big ones!

3. Find a support system.

You’re not alone in this journey. Surround yourself with people who cheer you on. It could be friends, family, a coach, or an online community. Join support groups, either in person or online. Having a community where you can share experiences, challenges, and victories makes the journey more enjoyable and sustainable.

4. Don’t be too hard on yourself.

Setbacks are inevitable, but also opportunities to learn. Reflect on what led to the setback and how you can avoid similar pitfalls in the future.

• Practice mindfulness and self-reflection.
• When you face a setback, take a moment to pause and analyze.
• Use a journal to reflect on these moments and plan your next steps.
• Celebrate Your Successes

5. Celebrate your successes.

Each milestone, no matter how small, is a step closer to your ultimate goal. Celebrate these achievements. They reinforce your commitment and boost your morale. Create a ‘success jar’ or a ‘victory board’ where you note down or visually represent each achievement. Regularly reviewing these successes is a great reminder of your capabilities.

As you know by now, my favorite subjects are relationships and love. I can’t help but give you a few additional ideas of resolutions and tools to maintain them to keep your couple more (extra)ordinary!

Resolution to keep to rekindle your relationship.

1. Prioritize quality time together.

Spending time together nurtures your emotional connection. It creates a space for sharing feelings, dreams, and thoughts, strengthening the bond and deepening the understanding between partners. Also, prioritizing quality time together for couples with children sets a positive example. It demonstrates the importance of nurturing relationships, which children can emulate in their future relationships. 

• Practical Tool: Schedule weekly date nights or activities. Use a shared calendar to ensure you both commit to this time together. Explore new hobbies or interests to keep the spark alive.

2. Improve communication.

Regular quality time is a perfect opportunity to work on and improve communication. It allows for open, uninterrupted conversations, helping partners better understand and respond to each other’s needs and desires.

• Practical Tool: Practice active listening and NVC (Nonviolent Communication). Set aside time each week to discuss your feelings and needs openly, take an online course on communication, and read books together on the subject.

3. Be more grateful.

Practicing gratitude in a relationship is essential because it fosters appreciation and acknowledgment of each other’s value and efforts, strengthening the emotional bond. It shifts the focus from what’s lacking to the abundance present in the relationship, enhancing overall satisfaction and happiness. Regular expressions of gratitude also cultivate a positive atmosphere, encouraging kindness and empathy, crucial elements for a resilient and fulfilling partnership.

• Practical Tool: Start a gratitude journal or a gratitude jar where you both can write down what you appreciate in each other. 

4. Get healthy together.

Getting healthy together as a couple encourages mutual support and motivation. It fosters a shared journey towards well-being, creating common goals and reinforcing the partnership through teamwork and shared experiences. Additionally, engaging in health-focused activities can improve physical and emotional intimacy, contributing to a stronger, more connected relationship.

• Practical Tool: Plan regular workouts and healthy meal prep days, or join a fitness class together. It’s about building a healthier lifestyle as a team.

5. Learn a new skill.

Learning a new skill as a couple is essential because it introduces shared experiences that foster teamwork, creativity, and mutual growth. It brings a sense of adventure and playfulness into the relationship, helping to keep the connection fresh and exciting. Moreover, navigating the challenges and successes of learning strengthens communication, deepening the emotional bond between partners.

• Practical Tool: Choose a new activity and allocate regular time to pursue it together. It could be anything from painting classes to learning a new language. Above all, make sure you’re both enthusiastic about doing it.

6. Being more understanding and forgiving.

Practicing understanding and forgiveness is like giving your relationship fresh air. It requires putting yourself in the other person’s shoes, fostering empathy, and reducing conflicts. By letting go of grudges and embracing forgiveness, you create a space where love grows, trust deepens, and your bond becomes unbreakable – it’s like weaving a safety net of compassion and kindness around your partnership.

• Practical Tool: Implement a ‘forgiveness ritual’ where you discuss grievances and work on understanding each other’s perspectives. To help, read my article on the subject.

7. Save money and budget responsibly.

Saving money and budgeting responsibly is crucial for couples as it builds a foundation of financial security and trust for a stress-free and stable future together. It enables you to work towards shared goals, whether buying a home, planning vacations or preparing for retirement, fostering a sense of teamwork and shared purpose. Responsible budgeting also helps prevent financial conflicts, one of the leading causes of stress in relationships, ensuring harmony and mutual understanding in managing money matters.

• Practical Tool: Use budgeting apps or financial planning sessions to set and review your financial goals together.

8. Be more kind.

Practicing kindness in a relationship is like continuously planting seeds of positivity, which blossom into a deeper, more nurturing connection. These small, thoughtful gestures foster an atmosphere of appreciation and care, making each partner feel valued and loved. Moreover, regular acts of kindness create a cycle of goodwill and affection, reinforcing the bond and making the relationship a source of joy and comfort for both individuals.

9. Plan regular date nights or getaways.

Planning regular date nights or getaways is essential for couples as it ensures dedicated time to reconnect away from the routine stresses of everyday life. These special moments provide opportunities for creating new, joyful memories, keeping the relationship vibrant and exciting. Additionally, regular dates and getaways allow couples to focus solely on each other, nurturing intimacy and reinforcing the feeling of being valued and cherished in the relationship.

• Practical Tool: Keep a shared ‘date ideas’ list and schedule these into your monthly planner. It ensures you make time for each other amid busy schedules.

10. Work on personal growth.

Working on personal growth as a couple is essential because it fosters individual fulfillment, which, in turn, contributes positively to the relationship’s health. It encourages both partners to evolve, bringing new perspectives and energies into their shared life and preventing stagnation. Furthermore, supporting each other’s personal development builds more profound respect and admiration, which is essential for a long-lasting, thriving partnership.

• Practical Tool: Support each other in individual aspirations. Have monthly check-ins to discuss personal goals and progress. Share a Google document where you can keep track of your progress and aspirations.

In wrapping up, let’s face it – sticking to resolutions isn’t always a walk in the park. It’s more like a hike with some steep hills, but oh, so worth the view at the top!

Now you’ve got the map – setting clear, doable goals and a step-by-step plan to keep your motivation burning bright.

Don’t go it alone! Rally your squad – friends, family, or even a coach who can give you that extra push when the going gets tough.

Your partner? They’re not just your love; they can be your rock-solid support and accountability buddy, making this journey not just doable but enjoyable.

So get your team together, lace up your resolve, and turn your resolutions into a beautiful reality! Remember, every small step is a leap forward toward your extraordinary self. So make this journey a joyful and rewarding adventure, shall you?

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