The secret to clear and calm communication.
Written by Sophie Parienti
Communication; this word refers to our most significant relational challenges and, at the same time, to a strong potential for connection. When communication is clear, our relationships are inspiring and fulfilling. When it is not, misunderstandings, tensions, and conflicts arise.
In my coaching sessions, I witness the absence, lack, or miscommunication being the source of conflict and disagreement with most couples.
But what is the secret of good communication? Below are the essentials of positive and inspiring communication for a better connection.
Be Authentic.
When we speak our truth, we connect. Pretending, disguising, or making believe does not allow us to bond with the other person. Sometimes we think that acting as such protects us from potential conflicts or difficulties, but it takes us away from the possibility of greater intimacy in the relationship.
Being authentic does not mean saying anything and everything that might hurt the other person or even break the bond. Authenticity has a unifying role if expressed with a positive intention.
Make your intent positive.
Conflicts in relationships are often the result of misdirected and unexpressed intentions. For example, if a person is saying, “I’m telling you this for your good,” they would potentially have the unconscious intention of positioning themselves as the one who knows and does the right thing. Always ask yourself if your intention is suitable before making a statement; if your words and your reflection do not hide a negative thought, a derogatory will.
Communicate clearly.
Clear and precise communication eliminates the risk of misinterpretation, misunderstanding, or conflict. The important thing is to make sure that what is heard corresponds to what is said. When the conversation is going badly, ensuring that your partner understands your message is helpful. Simply asking, “What did you understand about what I just said?” can avoid many problems.
Be an active listener.
Being present, attentive, and listening to the other person is essential in communication. When the conversation is going nowhere, don’t hesitate to ask your partner to repeat what they said. Take a genuine interest in what they are saying. Pause to let them express themself, stay connected through the eyes, and sometimes even stay silent. Then ask questions. Active and attentive listening is the guarantee of positive communication.
Stay Empathetic.
Empathy is essential to a healthy relationship. Empathy means putting yourself in the other person’s shoes, removing all judgment from their speech, and accepting it as accurate to them. It strengthens the bond and intimacy between partners, bringing the calm and serenity necessary to understand the other person. Remember that if you want to be heard and understood, so does your partner.
Keep an open-mind.
Open-mindedness is the key to inspiring and enriching communication. It allows new perspectives to be welcomed and the conversation to evolve. It’s not about agreeing with everything the other person says but about permitting other ideas and feelings to rise and enter the discussion. In addition to allowing you to break out of a pattern that might limit you, it will develop a greater closeness and intimacy between you.
How we communicate always reflects what we are living and experiencing. An authentic heart, a positive intention, a clear speech, a dose of empathy, an open mind, and an attentive ear will ensure an inspiring and fulfilling relationship.
“How we communicate with others,
and ourselves ultimately determines the quality of our lives.”
Anthony Robbins
I suggest you read: The foundations of a healthy love relationship.
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